Statement Tips

Bitchy little cliques, money-grubbing hacks and opening night lag are three hallmarks of the SL art scene, but of course, there's much more to it than that! For example, there is the Artist's Statement. Nothing short of a meshnami will resolve the problem of the former, but the latter is a different matter.
As he slipped a commission script into each of your masterpieces, your friendly gallery owner probably told you that writing an Artist's Statement is 'How To Sell Your Stuff 101' in all worlds, virtual or not. He's right, of course, but that doesn't mean you have to make a fool of yourself while attempting to rake in the Lindens.
Three things.
Show you're brief.
If your statement does not fit in the default window of a new notecard, it's tooo freeeeaking loooong! Less is more, more opportunities for people to ask questions and start a dialogue, more chance  your note will be read  and remembered, which is what you were hoping for, right?
Self proclamations
Delusions of grandeur are a lot like farts. We all get them sometimes, but good manners dictate that you avoid sharing them with others. If you can't get over yourself, then try to fake it. Don't write 'Brilliant painter, sculptor, poet, this, that, and the other, plus I am in a band'. First of all, you're not that brilliant. You're talented at one thing, fairly good at a couple of others, and the rest is kindhearted people lying to your face. (Almost certainly about the poetry.) Second of all, if  you are a Renaissance genius (and again, let me stress that you're not), have the grace to let us figure it out for ourselves.
Listmania
You know that complete list of every show you've ever participated in, the one that proves you're a sought-after, experienced, happening artist? Yeah - we don't want to see it. Much better to state the number of shows you've been in, mention a few of your most impressive outings, and offer a 'full list available on request'. The same applies to the dreaded 'Influences' section - we can't see the mood for the trends when the list of your art heroes exceeds eight or ten people. Mix it up a bit. Add links to the names you drop.

The fee for this advice is 500L each. Feel free to tip me inworld. No equivalent-value art, please.